5HP’s online writing

This week 5HP took part in an exciting online writing lesson with Pie Corbett and Deputy Mitchell. The session started with an alphabet warm up game and then the class listened to a piece of suspense writing. They evaluated the writing – saying what was most effective and also what could be improved and how.

Then the exciting part – we were able to use a range of online tools to share our ideas and have them commented on by Pie Corbett. It was very exciting to see our work up on the screen for an audience to view. We received some great comments!

Finally we used our ideas to create our own class poem. Please read.


In the mirror I saw

Stars like static fireworks frozen in the midnight sky,

A grey Porsche sitting patiently on the edge of an abandoned alley way,

Hundreds of soldiers crawling over ruby poppies shedding tears as they went,

A golden river as bright as a million stars dancing elegantly through the valley.


In the mirror I heard

The cold fresh air choking amongst the smothering smoke of the city

The howl of a pack of wolves cowering under the crystal moon

The crackle of a fire preparing for the harsh bite of winter

The winter wind whispering to break the silence of the night


In the mirror I imagined

A dragon spitting out a blanket of snow to cover the unknown land

A dark phenomenal figure with hands as strong as titanium dispersing the world’s pollution

An enchanted twinkle of a magical fairy painting a rainbow of hope across the world